We walked to church Sunday morning, blue sky overhead, crisp late winter air in our lungs and heavy hearts beating within.  As we approached our building, home of McMinnville Cooperative Ministries, (ELCA Lutheran and United Methodist) we were hoping for this kind of sign newly planted out front.  It’s in the works but apparently the sign makers are waiting for paint to dry.  Interesting to wonder which takes longer: curing paint or a bigoted institution.  Maybe it will be ready next Sunday.  All over the country, United Methodist Churches are putting up signs like this, buying billboards, taking out full ads in local papers and doing what they have to do to make a defiantly welcoming message go viral in the conscience of our communities.  The sign above was created by First United Methodist of Corvallis, Oregon and is planted in front of their building.  What a welcome sight after a very sore few weeks for United Methodists.

And actually it’s been several decades.  Forty-seven years ago, in the winter of 1972, I was a young seminary student, just beginning my studies at a United Methodist divinity school in the U.S. Heartland.  I was sitting at an LK restaurant in our town with a seminary classmate, one of my newest close friends.  Over coffee and some late night junk food, he told me he was gay.  I’d never had a gay friend before and, as a heterosexual-white-male-sheltered-small-town kid, had never even really thought about it.  I remember the tightness in my gut at the time and, simultaneously, the pure awe of being trusted with a deep interpersonal disclosure from a deep personal closet. It was none of my business except he had made it so.

That was enough for me then and, all these years hence, it’s enough for me now. He was my friend and soon-to-be clergy colleague.  A couple months later, that very Spring, the 1972 United Methodist General Conference voted some words into official policy.  They were in the process of discussing an official statement on “Human Sexuality” for the church’s Social Principles.  A Commission had worked on it 4 years to present to the 1972 Conference.  As it was brought to the floor for discussion, all of a sudden, in the confusion of Robert’s Rules, out of order and out of nowhere, a delegate moved the insertion of some now infamous words into the statement.  Even though they were totally incongruous with the otherwise thoughtful, inclusive and compassionate content on human sexuality, the motion passed and these words became our heritage and bigoted legacy:

The United Methodist Church does not condone the practice of homosexuality and considers this practice incompatible with Christian teaching…

-(UM Book of Discipline, 2016, ¶ 161.G)

For an excellent review of the history of how we arrived at this place, check out this video of Debbie Pitney’s explanation shared in Worship two Sundays ago at McMinnville Cooperative Ministries (United Methodist and ELCA Lutheran):

These hateful words have evolved over subsequent decades now, to become our ecclesial law, forbidding those of “incompatible” orientation from being ordained and ordained clergy from officiating same-sex unions and marriage.

For my seminary friend and thousands of others who loved the church and felt called to inclusive ministry these words slammed the closet doors and drove them deeper into guilt and secrecy.  Many, like my friend, found loving mates and entered into loving lies in heterosexual marriages.  They raised families the best they knew how and were able to be in ministry.  Some came out, were shamed and defrocked.  Some quit altogether or became U.C.C. pastors.  Others committed suicide so the pain would go away. Some were able to serve in Conferences where Bishops had their backs in defiance of church law.  As churches and Conferences became “Reconciling,” sanctuary has been made for many in their localities even while the denomination continued its dreadful path.  We are so grateful for the luck of the draw.  We were born, raised and ordained in the West where Bishops and other church leaders openly disobey the law, but still it’s hard to be LGBTQ and not know who’s watching even out here.

Of course the reason I write today is that the General Conference, in a last-ditch effort to keep the church from splitting, decided to appoint a “Commission on the Way Forward.” The Commission has been meeting the past 3 years to bring a recommendation to a specially called session which happened 3 weeks ago in St. Louis.   The Commission recommended a “One Church Plan” which removed the language and provided a way for those of differing views to live together.  But, in much the same way as the 1972 Conference, another plan called “Traditionalist” snuck in and the Conference voted 53%-46% for that plan.  It not only re-affirms the hateful language, but even seeks to legislate more harsh punishments for those who disobey, sending the church headlong into a draconian death spiral.

The politics of why this is still happening is that, unlike other mainline churches, we are a global church.  All policy is made by up to 1,000 delegates of the (once every four years) General Conference.  As the African part of our church is the fastest growing, it, in it’s strident homophobia has a larger and larger percentage of votes in our representative democracy and, as many Africans are very vocal that LBGTQ persons are “spawn of the devil” or worse, this is what we have become.  We know 80% of the U.S. delegates favored removing the language and keeping the denomination together.  We know, since 1972, the other 20% (typically white supremacists) have been manipulating (and some would say “buying off”) the Africans which is as despicable as the homophobic message itself, not to mention the mean racism of it.  For some of us a splitting off of some kind would be the result for which we’ve waited.   Maybe finally we could celebrate the death of that particular bigotry among us and quit living that particular lie and get on with being honest about who we are and banishing the other isms that plague us and our world.  Finally we could stop being an adolescent cult and catch up with the rest of North American and European society and grow up into the beloved community so dominate outside the walls of the church.

But more than anything today I want to send Debbie’s and my love and deep respect for all the LBGTQ friends (lay and clergy) we’ve had the privilege to know and love across the church these 47 year.  We share the grief.  You have broken down the doors.  You have come to us bloodied by other Christians and together we have found safety and new strength.  You paced outside the delivery room doors as our babies were born.  You were our children’s favorite baby sitters.  You taught our son to drive a dogsled.  You drove our daughter singing across the tundra in the silent snow on many a Sunday afternoon.  Some of you are long gone from this dimension.  We hope you knew what a gift you gave us while you were here.  Some of  you befriended us when, because we spoke out for you, our other friends deserted.  We have crossed State lines to officiate your wedding.  We married you tucked away on the back patio or just with family in the small chapel out of sight. We walked beside you on a thousand marches.  We were arrested with you.  We cried with you when you came to say, even though our congregation was Reconciling you couldn’t any longer be part of a larger church whose official words make you a non-person.  We have eaten the produce of your farms.  You have brought dinner to our homes and stayed with us and didn’t leave when we were in unspeakable pain. You took care of our chickens when we were on vacation.  You are our daughter, our daughter’s wife.  You may be our Grandson or his children.   To us you aren’t lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer or incompatible. To us you are wondrous humans.  You are the best friends we have.  That’s all.  And it’s still enough.

None of us are sure what happens next.  If you haven’t seen the video message from the Bishops of our Western Jurisdiction, you might want to take time to watch.  As I said earlier, we are lucky to be in the Western (U.S.) church where our leadership has our backs.  We do denounce the immoral decision of our global church and we do stand with GLBTQ persons unconditionally.  We are people of a defiantly just, fiercely generous and completely compassionate Creator and we’re not going anywhere.